Scribing Both Halves

Sensing the senseless, perceiving unperceived twisted branches tangled into webs of deceit My mind a superpowered fantastical computer of perhaps Is it a blessing or a curse to forsee, a hidden tax A rising debt inside myself one I pay for each day A double think a second guess in a mind half frayed A competition self assembled each stage each play Neuro mess tangled spaghetti along the matter gray Pastalaya jumble overthinking crossing words Blending meanings, eyes exhausted in an endless blur Reading every word forwards, backwards, inbetween Interrogate the verb and subject, wordle crime scene The combinations of echos and clues without caveat Excess of curiosity cognition attempts to claw at Fight or flight at the heat or height of rhyming inexorable force within, keeps us word criming

When you look at this woman what do you see? An age, a weight, a womb, a figure, a laborer? The world sees me false, can't see beneath skin I hoped you saw more, the beauty within. Do you judge her appearance say she's not enough Do you list her faults, shortcomings cruel and rough Miss her keen sensitivity and inner instinct to knowing  Do you ignore her wit, the sass, or the inner glowing Then tell her she's enough, tell her why Show her you value her much more, clarify For it's never enough to not do what you say This Maritaka bird needs reassurance you convey

 Curiosity touches my brow I must walk into the forest I must look for my divine metaphor a sense of self outside of me Past the treelined forest edge, beneath the covered canopy One thousand twenty doors set in massive, twisted ficus trunks Each door marked with a blazing sigil illuminating the inner forest Roots sprawl above ground forming a labrynth under the canopy A trifle of brown decaying matter crunched beneath my weary boots I wandered lost with footing fatigue By touching the roots I reinvigorate my heart and blood veins Rising up through the branches breaching the canopy Sunburst luster rays soak through, recharge me Electric lightning feel shoots through my insides

Pine away the day, dreaming your dreams or dine on delectable delicacies of durability Supersede this infant with sheer strength Reveal your steel wrapped brawn Day is stripped day is wrapped I must stand. But I sat, flexed so hard, off fell my hat The meal was on it's way the lid was lifted The steam attracts, those few amply gifted Pop the kettle, tea for two, forge the steam and honeydew. Steep the chá inside of you Why? Precious facets though they're flawed make this creature a mighty, semi, demi, baby god These flaws and sips and boyhood grifts Boil inside before spilling into the cup Resisting the shift to the next level up stuck in fantasies the only baby gos have In the game of self there's no next level It's a pot o' soup, ingredients you select strawberry sardine cream, left unchecked Carefully craft the cauldron and spice of your life

Mountain river babbles in tongues What words did the water whisper? Billlowing over worn, smooth slabs It flowed and mowed and yawned yes yawned Tumbled it wetted itself on each side of the margin Truthed sharply and lied bluntly, it lay then rose From far away, through another's eyes I perceive the brilliant truth Gentle water errodes away rigid stone Blinking rapids shivering lips White water roar and chaos Teeth are marked as boulders protruding Rapine waters cackle, the stone turned pebble Pebble shattered to dust The land cried out, gorge mouth formed

Rip and pull blackberry brambles crowding out the growth Spikes of prickly fruition POP! no comfort without bloody pain The membranes of these bubbles Glycogen particles of comfort bulbs of ideas doubts hopes cares Bathe in their glow to nowhere Bask in the burn of blazing silence Iridescent bobbles, pay no mind Acidic, perspiring solitude Solace inside aching knees The pain absorbs into the membrane Contaminating the comfort The mixture perplexing in short overthinking

I want to make you belly laugh but my Punchline flew away That damn bird stole my riddle now he headlines on Broadway He flies across the stage spinning emotion Casting it out in a wide net Capturing the dumbfounded making us belly laugh His one bird act just doubled Pulled himself out of a hat Now there's two birds chirping Witty, jesting com-pun-ions It flipped and flopped skipping to the top brimming with the springtime Birding into mammal Horsing clippity clop One final act for the night Unstable steeds merge back together What do you call a slipper that has two eyes, eight legs, one tail and can outrun your very thought?

 waking from the formless dream Thrown toward earth, born Dukkha thrust upon me like a lance Tethered spiral cut but also uncut Wahnsinn overtakes spinning into another life Faire tourner avec moi this carousel, help! Arrête! It turns faster and flings me off Abientot, suddenly I am immersed in the new one A thousand painful lives of joy Now cultivate samadhi here The roots twist from each existence  Banyan chaos wrapping around each consequential Atman fruit Sand between my fingers hurled back to Earth, repita.

In morning's haze you appear I reach out in greeting Coffee on ice, clack the keys I smile back glow Sun beams flooding in Post yawn acknowledge the day Breakfast leans against table taste buds fizz and pop Youthful eyes question What excitement will we partake Life is the answer It always is The table smelled like aniseed The floor was covered in flowers Lets share the morning air And so we breathed the morning in Thick, damp grassy scented air Wooly thyme between our toes Let the floodgates open up Drop renewal on our faces

 Exhaustion was a version of me Talking back to me when I yelled silence It imposed it's voices that things weren't right But in fact without exhaustion life was good My echolalic mind was obsessed Repeated questions of heavenly futures Made my present a weary, drained hell and the acid dissolves me up nightly Corrosive spittle shoots out the tail As the motor runs out of breath We are coming to an intersection I'll fly right through not to stall Park the rusted out jalopy in lot level B Close the windows, breathe in slow Clear the tabs of excess clutter Initiate operation shut down mode

 I thought my days were done My endgame foiled, cutting short my fun But no up ahead on this desert road Behold I saw the stone A mundanity to most Overlooked for gems more grandiose I paused to inspect the earth I'd found My eyes in awe, spellbound I found a reflection from within the stone My own eyes reflecting back As if the treasure was sight itself The sacred right to see by bliss it is true!

Baby gods growing into the ether twining like blackberry brambles Bursting and grumbling Rambling over abandoned factories Eclipsing the stagnant, poisoned atmosphere Transcending together unbound Entwining and winding with thick spines accelerating as lightening hits the full moon And further still beyond the third stellar pool To the fifth, our soul's divine purpose The weight of spirit anchoring our transparent veins The ones threading through us Collapse together to forge a new radiant universe Our macrocosm of celestial consciousness The clock sinks below the undergrowth Hands reach for the sky clouds absorb the minutes Nebulous gas and cosmic dust we summon Swirl collectively in a burst of crystalline light

 Stepping into the day I can see the point of it all Certain things have been revealed They are visible The sun refracts today reveals the prior unnoticed gifts that were always present could not see past the prism The cracks in the roadway form runes The bird feces on the windscreen turn hieroglyphs A giant spirit ambles past our routines Then the spark springs an eruption from within The truth bleeds out onto the pavement not a mirage but a true pool of scarlet emotion The anxious half sits in the blood unfazed marvelling at the world's splendor The thickness in that crimson puddle weighs the overzealous tongue down The brain connects to the flavor The world shines with the glory of an unending hunger

Hands wrap around weight with so much patience Both sides of the game match so graciously Those cheeks are aflame with pounds of care tons of active listening burdens of compassion On top of it all is consiousness Pouring down proverbial fountain Covering all angles of cuteness drenching it in feeling Your sturdy rock form with strength enough to press me snatch my emotions and hold them with your power, cutie

Darling, you are everything, anything but simple Harness your internal flame, that bounce, convert Transform lusty combustion to forward motion  Push, work in tandem and reject the inert How will I do all that, I'm complicated at my best The flame is oh so illusive, it jumps, inverts How will I streamline a rusty old engine From the side of me weird, dark, perverse Corroded shell rusted out but inner self oiled Grease up the pistons, sink inside, and feel Take what's bizarre, crank rotational work of the keys Expose, let me consume your wicked, fervent zeal If I let you consume this part of me What will it mean to you, will it excite, inspire, renew? Are you asking me to give it up for free? Am I run of the mill or within the precious few? My price, it's this, you'll carry me and I'll carry you Each part revealed, brings such joy, glee Inspires healing myself, to support you the same Exceptional, quite extraordinary to me

 I visit briefly as your shadow  To remind you as virtuous as you are inside you the inevitable hollow Parts of my darkness cruel and bizarre What is that stalking my shadow from the corner of the room weaving dreams, nightmarish woe spawns quivering inside my womb The footsteps echo and hush As if the room of me were hollow And suddenly they rush forming the shape of the shadow My vessel lays stiff as a board  under covers I ache and hide paralyzed from fantasies unexplored with someone that stalks my bedside Whose darkness is attention through voids that are eyes traversing dimensions Ones it resides in

I jot the words down on the page, they mock me They whisper, this is slop The words turn around slam the door and lock But I keep writing I can't stop This suit of minced meat is too small, doesn't fit feelings it leaves uncontained, inadequate it quivers when I need it to be still It betrays me like teen love will Constant questioning, what is the meaning my mind plays tricks, it's screaming Overthinking snowballs mindchatter shatters Inner world now epicenter outer one doesn't matter The sounds are too bright, the lights too loud, my thunderous heart needs to escape this crowd I jot down words that quiver, they whisper inadequacies They betray me with their shape shifting and jealousy Words that play tricks, conspire and snowball into reality, Get recited by hungry hearts and crowds without morality

Putrid, sulfury peas boiled until they're deceased Bile green composted food never would like to feast I am confounded by blandness Each part of the dish sticking The food is gluggy illness digestion cringes food sinking Tasteless shoe leather rations Not even Tabasco could fix Dreadful this arid hardtack Food shaped, parched desert bricks Teeth sink in jaws clamp and cramp Saliva builds too slowly in the mouth Tongue dabbles overcooked crap There is food but there is no health

Repent or burn! shouted shoeless Joe, spouting bile from his jaw  jeering at the passer-bys, infernal sign post in his claw The crowd just moved on through the brimstone down pour Shoeless Joe used the sign as shelter from the rock fall His voice boomed through the valley, bare feet and dreads trailed to the ground His message fell on deaf ears, a soft hum in the background He abandoned his sign post for a staff he found His youth endured yet the world grew elderly around Joe left the valley for a plot, mountainside He became a good shepherd, his word pacified A floating God peacefully settled down beside him Gave him his sheep, gold and valley bride

Young, fresh vegetation started you from seed Now those slimy, slurpy bullies munch your tender greens They scorn and bleed people They categorize and screen Not understanding fully That i'm a pyro in between With my vegetation lacy enough of fruitless toil! Pull out ye olde flame thrower full blasters set to broil! Their bleating and screaming grows Dies down, then their skin blisters burst Incinerating and cremating deathroes Purifying fire has dealt with the worst Fertile, ashy soil remains but total decimation Roll and frolic in the dust seed sowing, transformation Years later thick, sturdy trunks Branches that hold life and nests big fruit that needs cutting into chunks Growth is never a painless quest

He wanders the universe of his mind through dream Wild, maniacal visions put to pen and paper Somewhere in time and space he comes to being To question places, people, their fleeting nature Insights concealed inside, waiting to be drawn out Nocturnal hide and seek, ready or not here I come Ducking and diving I found a way in A place I'll never want to go from Rest your head and weave your illusions Hear that paternal voice guiding you Go swim through the stars and catch your dreams my eternal friend